
Tag: funny
797

never trust a toilet
with the lid down
743

single in your early twenties =
single
single in your early thirties =
deep in the process of getting over someone while simultaneously emotionally and/or physically involved with at least 5 people
713

fashionista in winter –
when even my skin is
685

when you get a long text from guys
it usually means they’re going back to their wives.
681

there’s always some roadkill
on the way to Loverville
641

i’m the kind of girl
whose herbs expire
623

confusing times –
when you said “i’ve been following you for a while now”
i thought you meant
online
593

google translate –
i was hit out of my lead
by all the things you said
585

like gas –
this too shall pass
556

body language –
i think you and i
use a different dicktionary
516

the rub –
i tell you about my previous love affairs
you tell me about your current ones
509

unemployment –
this is where i’ll get
my street cred
502

ah love. the spice of life.
unfortunately, that spice is sometimes
cilantro
485


