I think you’re an asshole – please like me!

What funny creatures we are. Recent events have made me discover something about myself, a quality that is often linked to the female sex: the Great Urge to Please. To be seen as charming and sweet, even by assholes. Even by those you sense are taking advantage of you.

There is something mightily wrong with this.

Someone can treat me like shit, and I still want him to like me. But why doesn’t the person in front of me worry about being kind to me?

The biggest joke of all is that people are way more likely to respect you when you’re standing your ground, when being liked is the least of your worries. There ain’t a whole lotta folks who will respect you for being sweet and kind. On the contrary, they’ll probably think you’re not the brightest.

So my belated Ney Year’s Resolution is this: stop worrying about whether or not you’re liked by strangers who return the favor by treating you like crap. Don’t go over your limits or against your gut because they present it as a great opportunity (for them no doubt).

Above all, respect your limits and trust your gut. In life you’re bound to come across those who are dying to take all that you’ve got, and even expect a “thank you” for it.

Artists, especially young ones, deal with it all the time. Incredibly talented people who are constantly asked to do stuff for free, “because think of all the great publicity you’ll get”. You should be down on your knees, thanking the great folk for this wonderful opportunity to get discovered by other great folk who will also not pay you.

What seems to be forgotten is, that if artists don’t get paid, they can’t buy the food that keeps them alive and hence: no more art! Then how will the rich and awful convince friend and foe that they’re enlightened supporters of the arts, what with all the dead bodies of former struggling artists lying around.

Stay kind, but to people who treat you well and appreciate the great strength and courage it takes. The others will like you less for it anyways.

And also, always overcharge the assholes. They’ll probably even like you more for it.