How to act when your crush works in a store

Let me start by being completely honest: when it comes to matters of the heart, I have NO idea how to act. But I’m pretty sure that this is true for everybody. We’re all just improvising our tushy off, aren’t we? That being said, what I can try to do is share my own humble experience and – dare I say it – slightly successful methods.

I have a tendency to fall for the Cute Guys Behind the Counter. This is not that strange, since these guys tend to be very cute and always give me what I want, ranging from drinks to fashion magazines to, most recently, organic goat cheese.

But how does one get to know these cute guys better? Here are a few pointers.

1/ Go to the store often

The more they see you in various stunning outfits, the more likely they are to fall in love with you. I’m pretty sure numerous scientific studies back me up on this one.

2/ Don’t be (too) afraid to make a fool of yourself (subtlety is not your friend)

If you’re anything like me, you’ve lost the edge of coolness the moment you realize you think a guy is cute. Red face and awkward behavior? All part of my seductive dance! And although it’s anything but fun for me at the time – I usually feel like a very nervous and very vulnerable idiot – I know I love it when a cute guy seems to be a bit nervous around me; what a huge compliment!

Besides, if you’re too cool, chances are he will never realize you kinda like him.

3/ Try to casually slip in some personal information about yourself or ask him a question to get to know him

This can be as stupid as “Have you worked here for a long time?” or “It’s my birthday today!” (With some luck you’ll get a kiss/hug/free drink). The main thing is to show interest. Content is much less important.

4/ Smile

Well duh.

5/ Ask him out

Well this is obviously crazy talk and I have never done it, but hypothetically speaking, you could ignore all of the above and just ask your crush out or slip him your number…

But why do things the easy way when you can also make them super complicated & confusing & exciting & fun?

I kinda like it when things are not super obvious and guys think I’m a bit weird. Weird in a cute way of course, not the stalker kind.

Extra perk: you will probably discover a whole new range of products that you never even knew existed, since it is advisable to actually buy something every time you stop by.

Although I haven’t found the love of my life yet, I must say that, over the years, I have gotten to know quite a few men this way (this way being 1 through 4, obviously not 5). Some turned out to be gay (but so so cute!), others not so much into me as wanting to get into my panties, but most guys turned out to be a lot of fun. It’s actually surprisingly easy to get to know these lads, as long as you’re willing to take a risk and make yourself vulnerable.

And of course, willing to get into the vegan salad-thing for a while.

(2015)